Connection

I've been thinking about how profound it is that we need each other. Now, some people will tell you that we don't really need each other - that relationships are an icing-on-the-cake kind of deal. "They're nice and we definitely have fuller lives if we have them, but they're not absolutely necessary for survival." Well, tell me how an infant would survive if it had no one to feed it when it cried.

And it's not just that we need each other to provide for our physical needs. I'm thinking that if you were left alone, you'd go crazy. We need other minds to "organize" our own. When an infant is not even a year old, it has done enough needing of others that it has begun to form an idea of how people respond to it - whether they are available and caring or not. That is what builds our view of ourselves and the world. How cool is that, that we are built that way - to seek each other out and connect? To see if there is someone out there to whom we matter?

You and Me

It's important in the midst of conflict or struggle to look at ourselves and figure out if there is anything in us that might have caused the conflict/rift/upheaval. It's equally as important to remember that just as there is always something sinful in my body and being, there is something sinful in the other's body and being that is causing the conflict/rift/upheaval.

That means that it's wise to take some responsibility, but not total responsibility in any given situation. There's a sign in the substance abuse treatment center that I used to work in that reads this way: "Do not feel totally, personally, irrevocably responsible for everything. That's my job. - God". There's some perspective.

Bon Iver

This was easily the best thing that came out last year: Bon Iver's album For Emma, Forever Ago. And since now I have started posting the most excellent tracks I have ever heard, I must post one track from it here (it's called "RE:Stacks"). The whole record is surely worth a listen or a hundred. It has a flow, but the tracks also coalesce and become distinct, enough for the tracks to each stand on their own. Some words to describe Justin Vernon's music and words: gentle, tuneful, soulful. This music surely is happening in a time and a place. It has a feel and an atmosphere.

You As A Whole

We're much more integrated beings than we think. We, however, tend to divide ourselves up into sections: mind/body/feeling/spirit. Like we say that we're doing fine physically, but we're really stressed about something. The truth is that when you're messed up in your head, your body takes the hit, too. You know how you get sick when you've been real stressed out?

These different aspects of ourselves are just smaller systems in a larger, meta-system. Each interacts with the other. Evidence: I am much more susceptible to negative thoughts about myself and even about God when I am tired, hungry, anxious, stressed. I know the physical doesn't matter as much (a lot of it might not be around forever), but in Jesus, there is the reconciliation of God and man. God put on flesh. Jesus provided for physical needs and spiritual ones. I'm guessing he cares about our emotional selves and our intellect as well.

Did it.

Alright sweet. I'm going to post songs you can stream and listen to while you read and contemplate. I promise I'll never post stuff that's not great and I don't absolutely love. imeem.com actually has stuff I listen to (much indie), so I choose their widget. [Update: Actually, after this post, I switched to seeqpod because I like their player (it's less bulky and ad-focused]

This is a good one to start with. The track is "Blood" by The Middle East. It's super hard to find anything on them, but their album The Recordings of The Middle East is well worth just about any amount of work.

The Middle East - Blood

Yeah, Uh huh

Yeah, right on with that last post. I really hate it when people see my imperfection. If someone notices somethin that I've done (like that typo) that's not quite up to par, it's like they've unearthed some sort of terrible, awful misdeed that could have me nominated for some sort of torturous punishment - some real Guantanamo Bay stuff.

That means I've constructed a heck of a house of cards - it looks great, but it's ridiculous to sit there and work on forever because with one walk by, one breath, one touch, it could all go tumbling. It makes me wonder how much I could do if I would spend my energy in other places - rather than on a facade that crumbles at the slightest touch.

What if I did know - really - how deep my imperfection goes? Then, would I know grace even deeper? Here's to finding out.

What's Out There

I hate writing. It takes forever. I can pore over a page of my own writing for hours and then return a few days later just to do the exact same thing. That probably means I'm a little too meticulous. What strikes me about the things I've written or anything I've produced for that matter - writings, songs, works of art, sayings - is that they're all so final. Once they're out there, they're out there. Somebody said works of art are never finished - only abandoned.

Does that mean if you're an artist, you're a perfectionist? Maybe - maybe not, but what is for sure is if you're an artist, you'd better be comfortable with process. You can't be all anxious about something if it's not just the way you want it. (You can never reproduce it just like it was in your head, anyway.) Our whole lives are just like that - works of art that are never finished, never complete, never perfect renderings for the world to see. I guess that means you and I better get OK with process, with imperfection. Just when you think you've arrived, there's a whole new horizon unfolding before you.