Same old story, different day

People need people. We might as well get used to it. It's a fact.

Good research shows that we come out of the chute looking for someone who knows we exist and who will take care of us. Then we spend the rest of our lives acting out some twisted version of the same. No matter how hard you try, you never outlive your need for someone else to tell you that you matter.

The funny thing is that we're all trying so hard to be individuals. The same research I mentioned before says that once we feel secure in who we are, we feel alright to go out and explore. It's a toddler who goes to explore the backyard, always looking over his shoulder to make sure his mom or dad is still there. We're always looking for something new, to do our own thing, but we always come back to someone who matters who can tell us we matter.

Perfection

I think it's good every once in a while to realize how messed up you are. I mean I don't think people should feel terrible about themselves, but it seems like with all the talk about self-esteem and crap, we're supposed to always think everything we do is great. I think a good view of yourself involves knowing that you're going to make some doozies of mistakes.

The problem is that we get this idea with all this talk of being holy and stuff that we can achieve something pretty darn near perfection. That's just not true. If you're a human being, you're fallen and broken. That means even if you do and say everything right, you still have some stuff that makes up your insides that is less than immaculate.

Even in the middle of his ministry to the Gentiles, Paul the apostle called himself a wretched man with a "body of death," and the worst of all sinners (in the present tense). I tend to resonate with that. And every time I feel like I'm getting closer to perfection, I know I'm getting further away from the truth and probably further away from the Father.

To belong

I read this article the other day that said that postmoderns (whatever those are) have this need to "belong before they believe." I guess that means that it is important for people in our time to feel like they are welcomed and accepted before they start believing in Jesus. I don't know, maybe we're splitting hairs here, but it seems like this has always been true. Maybe it's just that we have forgotten the belonging part somewhere along the way.

Jesus told his disciples that the way people would know that they were his disciples was if they loved one another. He didn't say people would know by their statements of belief or how convincing their arguments were.

I think, also, that people just felt comfortable around Jesus. They felt welcomed by him even if they weren't what we would call Christians. The Bible doesn't say this, but I don't think Jesus converted all of the people with whom he partied. That makes me think that they liked having Jesus around and that he didn't push anything on them, but just made them feel like they were loved no matter what.

Fiction

My wife has a library card. She says there's no reason to buy books if you can borrow them for "free". She hardly reads a book twice, and I guess if she wanted to, she could re-check one. The thing is, she gets her tax money's worth. She'll read 3 or 4 novels in a week if she gets the urge. She reads fast.

And there is hardly a word said about any of these stories. She'll close the book when she's done and say, "That was a good one." It's like she's in her own little world when she's reading, but I admire that because I read stale, uppity non-fiction. Unless it's a story that really catches my attention, I'd much rather read a logical line of reasoning. I'll sit and watch a movie and try to figure out if it could really happen or not.

The problem with my overactive brain is that it's hard to have faith when you have to figure everything out before you jump in. Real faith is really like getting caught up in a story.

Inertia

There are lot of things that keep us inside our own skin. And if you do decide to get outside of yourself, many times there aren't a lot of alternatives - places for you to turn. You can get on the internet and connect, sort of. Even then, though, it's digital and it ends when either party decides they've had enough or they don't like the way the interaction is going. It's hard to get a commitment from someone on the internet.

Newton said that an object will continue in its path until acted upon by an outside force. That means that it's hard to stop a moving train, but it also means that it's hard to get a giant stone rolling. It seems like the longer we stay on our own, the harder it is to overcome the inertia and reach out. We're not supposed to be alone, but there sure are a lot of forces to overcome.

Ambivalence

Ambivalence is a word used in the mental health field, many times when talking about addicts. It means that people can feel two ways at once. They can know what is right and what is best and still choose to do the opposite. You don't need to show people videos about what bad things drugs can do. People aren't stupid.

I think this idea describes the human race. Or, maybe it just describes me. I know I feel two ways about just about everything. I'm like Paul: I do what I do not want to do. I believe the truth and I never stop questioning it. C.S. Lewis called himself the most reluctant convert. I would say I am the most reluctant devotee.

I believe and I do not believe. I love and I hate. I am spiritual and very human.

If you love me...

I think I figured out why Jesus' most important command was to love. It's not like it's some new thing, but I think the reason why Jesus made it such a big deal was because he knew that a lot of people's first exposure to him would be us - the people who claim to represent him.

Yes, people can look at nature and know something about God. They can read the Bible for themselves and see God, but most people look most directly and most often at the Body of Christ, the people his Spirit is supposed to inhabit, to get their views on God. And they should. We are supposed to represent who we follow well.

Now a lot of people have been turned off by the way Christians have treated them for obvious and not-so-obvious reasons. And you can say all you want about how Christians are not perfect, just forgiven, but I don't think that's any excuse. All the more reason we should be focused on changing into people that love.

Narcissism

What's funny is when you love yourself, you actually forget all about yourself. You don't spend time worrying about yourself, thinking about yourself, or staring at yourself. You just love others.

Actually, it's not so much about loving yourself as letting someone love you. There's some sort of security in that - when someone else loves you, you can stop worrying about loving yourself so much.

I think this is exactly what Jesus is talking about in Matthew 16:25: "whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." Self-love is not trying to feel good about yourself even though you know you're a scumbag. It's letting someone else love you and getting lost in that.