Ambivalence

Ambivalence is a word used in the mental health field, many times when talking about addicts. It means that people can feel two ways at once. They can know what is right and what is best and still choose to do the opposite. You don't need to show people videos about what bad things drugs can do. People aren't stupid.

I think this idea describes the human race. Or, maybe it just describes me. I know I feel two ways about just about everything. I'm like Paul: I do what I do not want to do. I believe the truth and I never stop questioning it. C.S. Lewis called himself the most reluctant convert. I would say I am the most reluctant devotee.

I believe and I do not believe. I love and I hate. I am spiritual and very human.